I saw this advertisement over at Loaded Orygun, a blog I have been following... partly because of Senate '08 coverage (and no, I don't really mean Novick v. Merkley). Torridjoe (a.k.a. "TJ") and Carla (a.k.a. "Merkley's web mistress") got me to pitch in some dough to try and recruit Rep. Peter DeFazio to take on Sen. Gordon Smith. We failed. Since then, I guess I've just been trying to get my lost money's worth.
But back to this post and that ad... It was a string of testimonials from various Oregonians declaring why they're proud to be Oregon Democrats. I know a few folks from the ad, and by the end... well, I was rather emotional... mixed emotional, actually.
Maybe it's just the week sitting shiva... (What's often missed in my posts... in the writing of them I mean... are the frequent long pauses. You might call it introspection. Other's may blame a short attention span... Anyway, I just went there again...)
And when I look inside to try and articulate what I would say in such an ad, well...
"I'm a Democrat... again... [CUT!] ... because... when my voice was silenced... by a Democrat... I wanted to vote in May... [CUT!] ... I'm an Oregonian who grew up a Republican... [CUT!] ... I'm a Democrat who is not proud of the Democratic Party. [CUT!] ... [CUT!] ... [CUT!!!]I want so much to associate myself with all those Oregon Democrats on that video. But I am thoroughly disgusted with the leadership of this party of mine which I recently rejoined. At first, I assumed incompetence when after the 2006 election the Democrats continued to fund the occupation in Iraq. Today, given the scope of the Bush administration abuses already documented and the Democratic leadership's reluctance to hold him accountable, one can only conclude complicity.
And I keep coming back to the ad... "I'm so-and-so, and I'm proud to be an Oregon Democrat."
I don't feel proud. I feel ashamed... of myself. It's not that I was silenced... I silenced myself... out of fear. I don't blog under a pseudonym for purposes of privacy, but rather for protection. Everyone who knows me knows that this is my blog. It's just the strangers left scratching their heads. Unfortunately, I have been stalked in the past. And in a world where the information superhighway can lead right to my driveway, I choose to be Thom.
But the president of Mandate continues to push, and there's little I can do about that. I won't be posting my bio any time soon. Who cares, anyway. It's not like I'm on anyone's payroll. But if you really want to know... just ask. The email link has always worked.